Today and Tonight

Today, church was lovely.

Today, my talk went off without a hitch.

Today, I got to talk about Love; about the greatest act of Love that has ever or will ever exist.

Today, I felt that Love.

Today, I got to wear my fabulous new dress.

Today, I was all smiles and sunshine.

And then today turned into tonight.

Tonight, I talked to my mom.

Tonight, I cried for the second time.

Tonight, I listened to T.Swift on repeat.

Tonight, I talked to my best friend for the first time in ages. I miss her so much when she is in Boston. And sadly, neither of us had good news to report.

Tonight, I am not writing my paper that is due Tuesday. And I am not reading Frankenstein, even though I am supposed to finish it by tomorrow.

Tonight, I don't care about school.

Tonight, I want to wallow.

Just like every other Sunday night.

I don't know why Sunday nights are so hard for me. It's certainly not the first time this has happened. I go to church and have a perfectly wonderful day, and then I come home and begin to think about facing the real world.

I realize there is so much coming.

So much homework. So much life. So many to-do lists. So much stress.

It's crippling.

I can't tell you exactly when Sunday became both my favorite and least favorite day of the week all rolled in one.

There is something distressing about getting to spend a few hours in harbor only to know that sooner rather than later I am going to have to start all over again. So I procrastinate, hoping to put Monday morning off as long as humanly possible.

It's daunting.

And I'm already tired.

But I addressed this today in church. I know I don't have to be so tired. And I certainly don't have to be tired alone. I just have to be willing to ask for help.

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Thus, the Savior has suffered not just for our iniquities but also for the inequality, the unfairness, the pain, the anguish, and the emotional distress that so frequently beset us... There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during out mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, "No one understands. No one knows." No human begin, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, and succor-- literally run to us-- and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying on our own power. --Elder David A. Bednar