Disney Songs Hold All the Answers

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming 'Get a Grip Girl!'
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!


Hope your weekend is fabulous! And I hope mine is too.

Distracted.

I have been forgetting everything left and right these past few weeks.

It appears I am finally collapsing under the weight of the semester. Last Saturday I showed up to work 50 minutes late because, well, I "misremembered" the schedule. The week before that I showed up with the wrong shoes on because I forgot to change. Late Sunday night I remembered that I had a Geology exam the following morning. I also remembered that I had two online Geology quizzes due the Friday before {which needless to say were never completed.} Yesterday in SPE I sat down in class and only remembered we had homework due as the professor was instructing us to turn it in.

But for some reason, none of these things are getting me down.

It is hard to stress about life when I get to stay up until 4 in the morning watching a meteors rain through a gorgeous sky with new and old friends. Or when I get to drive out to Tempe to spend the night with the girls in Rosewood, laughing uncontrollably as it continues to get later and I continue to leave my homework untouched in my school bag.

I'm having trouble worrying about my grades when past experience has taught me they are going to be fine.

It seems pointless to let myself be unhappy when Thanksgiving is next week.

It is silly to dwell on the past when I am excited about the future.

Hopefully I will figure out a new system for next semester. But if not, this one is working pretty ok, too.

Elder Packer > English 241.

Yesterday, at 11:50, Elder Allan F. Packer was scheduled to speak at the institute. Yesterday. at 11:50, I was scheduled to be in my English 241 class. So, of course I made the decision to go to class, and I felt pretty good about it. As I parked in the institute parking garage, however, and saw boys walking into the building while simultaneously pulling ties out of their backpacks and putting them on, and girls changing into heels in their cars, I became pretty jealous. I considered going anyway, but convinced myself not to because I was in jeans and a t-shirt. I walked all the way to my class, sat down, and started talking to my friend, who will hereafter be known as Mormon Boy {despite the fact that it took me months to figure out he was Mormon, and sometimes the fact still surprises me.}

Me: I am so mad I have to be here instead of at the institute.

Mormon Boy: What's happening at the institute?

Me: Elder Packer is speaking.

Mormon Boy: Let's go.

Me: Really?

Mormon Boy: Yeah, why not?

Me: It's church dress.

Mormon Boy: Oh...

Me: Yeah.

Mormon Boy: Let's go anyway.

Me: Ok?

So we got up and left class, well after nearly everyone else had sat down {except for the professor, thankfully.}

On the way there, I mused out loud what the professor would say if anyone told him we were there and then left. He pointed out that professors build allowed absences into class, because sometimes they understand that you just need to not go to class. Plus, this would be more productive towards eternal salvation in the long run. And really, how do you argue with that logic?

It turned out to be a really helpful talk for me. It was all about making decisions, which anyone who knows me well can attest that I am the absolute worst at. I took plenty of notes in my journal {which was slight awkward, what with Mormon Boy sitting right next to me and most definitely reading over my shoulder} and hopefully I will be able to work on the suggestions Elder Packer made. The thing that hit me the hardest was when he said that we need to not only decide what we want to do and who we want to be, but also to take the time to envision it. Take the time to envision your life. Then, when it comes time to make an important decision about a career choice or something else life altering {cough: marriage :cough} picture in your mind where that decision will take you, and then compare it to the picture of the life you have already envisioned for yourself. If the two line up pretty well, it's probably a good decision. If not... you might want to rethink some things.

It just made so much sense while he was talking, and I couldn't help but think that if I had that advice a year ago, and I had not been too stubborn to listen to it, things might be very different for me right now. I mean, they might be exactly the same, but I just loved the idea. He also pointed out that Moroni 10:5 does not solely apply to questions regarding the truth of the church, but for questions regarding any aspect of life. I never looked at it that way before. I definitely will now, though.

So, in the end, I have learned that ditching class is certainly healthy every now and then. Especially when the alternative is listening to a man of God.

Kind of Like An Adult

It's basically a weekend night for me because I don't have school tomorrow OR Thursday.

I know.

Now I just need to find something fun to do, and someone to do it with.

The.End.

P.S. I got my credit card in the mail yesterday, and I felt almost like a real adult. Maybe we can have some fun with this?!

'Maybe' Pretty Much Always Means No

Maybe one of these days I will decide I want to start writing in here again. Maybe one of these days I will start thinking of interesting things to say, or life will slow down enough that I will stop making lame excuses not to write. Maybe I will stop deleting everything I write under the pretense that it is not good enough.

A very big part of me hopes that happens very soon.

Have a good week!

I Am So Restless.

Tonight I put on my running shoes for the first time since I participated in Race For The Cure on my birthday. And it was a solid two months since I had them on prior to that. Sometimes I feel like I am so busy, and other times, like today, I can't find enough ways to fill my time. By 3 o'clock this afternoon I had finished my homework, attended class, met up with Krystal on campus, gone to the bank, and filled up my car with gas. Since then I have been napping, cleaning, sitting around, and sighing impatiently. In a desperate attempt to get out of the house I grabbed my running shoes and iPod and took off. It helped, but 2.25 miles can only last for so long, and now I am home again with nothing to do.

I need more friends. Or, in reality, I need more friends who live in Gilbert. That way I wouldn't have to sit at home by myself on slow nights like this. And maybe I wouldn't have to sit by myself at church every.single.week. That would be ideal.

Take Four

This officially marks the fourth time in 2 days I have sat down and attempted to write something. At first I was shooting for something worth reading, but that has quickly degenerated into an attempt to find words that are even worthy of being written down. At the moment I am 0 for 3, so we'll see how far I get into this before I hit the delete button in frustration.

I woke up early this morning to finish a take home midterm, and then immediately went back to sleep and slept through my first two classes. I am so tired I don't even feel like I am present on campus. I am basically a zombie in class, and if it weren't for the fact that my car feels so far away I would be spending this break taking a nap instead of doing this. I don't know why I am so exhausted. Halloween was great, but it's not like I partied that hard or stayed out until dawn. When I remark how tired I am in class {or slump over in my seat, nodding off, as the case may be} someone invariably looks at me and says "busy weekend?" I nod yes, which is then followed by "so did you totally destroy your liver too?"

No.

"I didn't drink, I'm just tired."

Oh.

It's been enough to garner a few confused shrugs.

It was a great weekend, however {sobriety and all}. My third attempt at a recap post of the holiday simply looked like this:

Halloween 2009 > Halloween 2007 + Halloween 2008

Not exactly a genius equation, granted, but still entirely true. I had the opportunity to spend time with the girls in Tempe, dress up {in my boots and a leather skirt!}, see Regan for the first time in over a month, AND dance the night away with some creepy strangers; so basically it was fantastic.

On an unrelated note, life is progressing along nicely, and by that I mean flying by so quickly that I don't even know what date it is most of the time. I cannot believe October is already gone, and we're at the "beginning of the end" portion of the semester, finishing up last assignments before talk of finals begins. I have never felt so disconnected from school in my entire life as I have this semester, but even within that I have grown to absolutely love attending my two literature classes. Sometimes, especially in Early American Literature, I find myself unable to stop smiling simply because the discussion is making me near giddy. I'm not surprised, however, as American History and English have always been my two favorite subjects. This class might just be a match made in scholastic heaven. And I am more than ok with that.