confession #15

i think the boy and i might be in a fight. and i think it is one of those things where i know it's my fault, and he knows it's my fault, but instead of saying anything i am going to turn off my phone and pretend it's not happening.

i guess vacation really is over.

The Best Things About My Trip to San Diego. With Pictures!

*Dinner overlooking the Pier in Seaport Village.



*Getting hit on by the drunk Brazilian Boy who only had “one night in San Diego." {I sadly do not have a picture of this, and am including a picture of downtown instead, as that is where the proposition was made.}


*Discovering that despite my long held opinion otherwise, kettle korn is actually delicious. {Also don't have a picture of this. Shawna and I devoured the bag before I thought to document the discovery.}

*Running into the same giant Filipino family twice in Balboa Park and being ushered into their pictures/video both times while they told us we were beautiful.

*Eating a frozen banana, from a frozen banana stand, on the board walk. {click here if you know what's good for your soul}


*Realizing that it is impossible to anything other than utterly relaxed while lying on the beach.


*Being peer pressured into buying my TOMS shoes. {"They are for a good cause!"}


*Taking silly pictures.




*My awful, terrible, sunburn. Because, hey, in a week, I am going to be so tan! {I did take a picture of this, but have made the executive decision not to post it, as to avoid scandalizing your innocent eyes with my lasciviousness.}

Oh. A Post Script: If I end up with skin cancer 30 years down the road, consider this permission to remind me of Spring Break 2010 and say “I told you so.”

It's Friday, I'm In Love

{Thursday - Monday, I was here.}



{Tuesday - Thursday, I was here.}



And now, I'm home.

And I'm happy.

About Going and Returning and Urban Sprawl

There's something about leaving. And there's something about coming home.

It's no secret I like to go. When I was in high school I dreamed of going away, far far away, for school. When I went to Tucson I spent most of my time going to Phoenix. Now that I am home I look forward to the weekends I can steal away to Tucson. I have spent my entire life wanting to study abroad, to go as many places as possible. I have a playlist on my ipod titled "about leaving." I listened to it on the plane out of Phoenix. I listen to it when I get restless. I listen to it when I long to leave.

I like to go.

It has surprised me in recent years just how much I love to come home. My escapes from Tucson were more about coming home than they were about leaving where I was. Even on my mini trip to Tucson last month I found myself breathing a heavy sigh of relief as I sped home early the next Saturday morning. I listened to my "about leaving" playlist, all the while thinking I should have one titled "about returning." It was a shame to have to leave Michigan today, because I had such a good time, but as the airplane started its descent tonight and I looked out the window, my breathe caught slightly in my chest. The lights of Phoenix spilled out in front of me, stretching impossibly far. Urban sprawl at its finest. It turns out urban sprawl is kind of beautiful from thousands of feet up after the sun has set. Phoenix is home.

And I like to come home.

But, in less than 6 hours I am going, again.

And I'm excited.

Just like I will be when I come home again on Thursday.

Going and returning. I could get used to this.

Spring Break in Ann Arbor, Pt. 2

It is my last morning in Ann Arbor.

The clock on my computer tells me it is 7:47 am.

The clock on my cell phone tells me it is 10:47 am.

It is very confusing.

Yesterday my friend asked me how I am enjoying my vacation. I said that it is "kind of cold and dreary here, but there is a lot of good food, so it balances out."

And I meant it.

Well, sort of.

It more than balances out, is what I meant.

I really don't mind the dreariness. Not for a few days. But I can see how it would grow tiresome.

Yesterday was nice. I like that Sundays have the same relaxing feel to them no matter where you go. I like that church people in Ann Arbor are friendly. I like that Sandy's finance didn't get too upset when I tried to help make dinner {grilled cheese} and ended up cutting myself with the knife and bleeding all over the swiss. I like that we played Bananagrams, even though I lost. And I like that Sandy and I stayed up late watching Gossip Girl online and eating frozen berries like candy.

It was a good day.

Sandy is in class right now, and I am in her apartment in her bed attempting to write my midterm for my African American lit class.

That's right. Monday morning. Spring break. I'm doing homework.

But only because today's agenda is full. And so is tomorrow's. And Wednesday's and Thursday's too.

So I have to get this done now.

And then back to enjoying spring break.

Have a lovely day.

Spring Break in Blue Country, Pt 1.

What I've been doing so far, can be boiled down to a small list of things.

1. Going out to eat.

A lot.


2. Marveling at the "Harry Potter-ness" of campus.

And feeling jealous.


3. Seeing Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

And loving it.


4. Talking about wedding things with this couple.

And getting excited.


5. Shopping in the many little shops filled with many odd little things.

And being silly.


6. Spending time with my sister.

And loving every second of it.


The End.

Detroit City Bound

Well, I’m leaving for a little while.

I’m leaving to spend time with my sister.

I’m leaving to watch Alice in Wonderland.

I’m leaving to eat red velvet cupcakes + mass amounts of food that will make my jeans too tight.

I’m leaving to get away.

I’m leaving to de-stress.

I’m leaving to get some time off of work.

I’m leaving to get my mind off of Him.

I’m leaving to have some fun.

I’m leaving to see some snow.

I’m leaving to plan a wedding.

I’m leaving to celebrate living through the first half of the semester.

I’m leaving to forget about midterms.

I’m leaving because I’m exhausted.

I’m leaving because I want to...

And every once in awhile, mere wanting is reason enough.

confession #14

laundry is my favorite household chore. and I don’t say that in a well, at least it is better than dishes way. i say that in a i really really like doing laundry, way.

i hope to be able to make a deal with my future husband that goes like this: i do all of the laundry and bathrooms while he takes care of the kitchen/dishes. and with any luck he'll be so thankful that i am willing to spend my time "slaving" over the never ending pile of dirty clothes for our entire family that he won't even suspect that i am actually doing something i very much enjoy.

brilliant, no?

confession #13

i can't go to bed because i have two midterms tomorrow and i haven't studied enough. {read: at all.}

i can't study for my midterms because i need sleep in order to be able to concentrate.

so instead i am doing a never ending stream of laundry, watching the daily show, and contemplating eating those strawberry pop-tarts on the counter even though the last thing i need now is more food.

oh yeah, and i'm worrying about those midterms.

so much worrying.

i probably should have studied when i got home from work instead of eating junk food and gossiping with my parents about how insanely crazy every person on the planet is.

except for me, of course.

except for me.

confession #12

on my date the other night, i happened upon a “fountain” of sorts, and took two coins out of my wallet: one for my wish, and one for my date. the awful part is, i totally made a wish about another guy, and then spent the entire second act of the play we saw day dreaming about what it would be like if my wish came true.

i know, i know.

i'm going straight to hell.

A Quick Note

Dear Those Of You Nice Enough to Humor Me and Read this Nonsense,

Last night around 12:30 am I realized it was time to stop procrastinating and get something done. So naturally I made a To-Do List.

Correction: I made the mother of all To-Do Lists. The sheer length of this thing sent me from a mild I should probably get something done mood straight to a I am never going to get out of these next 3 days alive full on freak out.

Don't believe me?

I'd post my list here in an effort to garner sympathy, but I can hardly bring myself to revisit it again, especially when I am blogging, which is notably absent from the list.

This is the reason I will probably get a lot of my "confession" posts out of the way over the next few days. I already have a ton of them written, and they are fairly quick and low maintenance. Hope you don't mind terribly.

Have a good night! I am off to write my bilingual education midterm and spark notes Frankenstein and Great Expectations.

{I knew things were going to be bad when I wasn't sure I would have time to spark notes these books, let alone read them, before my midterm on Wednesday.}

Keep your fingers crossed for me, ok?

Thanks a ton.

xoxo, karajean

Well, I Haven't Tried This Yet

"We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us. Send that note to the friend you've been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say "I love you" more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It's so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they're gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of "what if" and "if only" ("Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, Nov 2008, 84-87).
-Thomas S. Monson

Let's Play a Memory Game

Do you remember when The Ex and I dated for a year and a half?

{Check.}

Do you remember when he left on his mission 4 days ago?

{Check.}

Do you remember when I got caught off guard and found myself on a date with his best friend last night?

{Wait…what?!?!?!}

Um…yeah…I’m not really sure what was going on either. I made sure to ask, before dinner even arrived, and the answer I received was not very satisfactory.

I was talking to a couple of people at work yesterday and they said if I didn’t want to go I should have just said “No thanks. I’m not interested.”

But I’ve always been taught that if a guy has enough courage or whatever to ask a girl on a date the girl should have enough courtesy to say yes, to give the guy a chance at least once.

I kind of disagree. Sometimes I say no. And most of the time {read: all of the time} the first date does not change my mind in the slightest because I can tell fairly early on whether or not I am going to like a guy. {I usually feel it in the form of a very real, very painful stomach ache. It is one of my favorite feelings in the world. }

I was having this very conversation with “the boy” the other day and I remarked:

I think you underestimate how much I detest dating.

To which he replied:

I just don’t think that you give dates the opportunities that they deserve…

I can see where he is coming from, but I still think he is wrong. I’m convinced I don’t need any of this “date” business. **

But, let’s get back to last night.

I said yes.

Because I am terrible at saying no.

And how was the evening, you ask?

Well, for starters it was not ¼ as good as ward softball on Friday. And my favorite part of last night was when I was finally dropped off and I got to change into my pajamas, eat a Cinnabon, watch What Not to Wear, and have a lovely text conversation with a certain someone.

Do you remember that I’m pathetic?

{Check.}

**A side note: one time at a church activity centered on dating some guy had the audacity to suggest that not only is the girl obligated to say yes to a first date, but a second one as well, because people are “so nervous” on a first date that you don’t really get to know the other person. I vehemently disagreed in front of the room of 100+ people, making it public knowledge that I thought that philosophy was ridiculous. Some people laughed, but some of the guys looked at me incredulously, probably surprised that I would have the audacity to refuse a second date with a nice guy.

Oh well.

That’s just a few less dates I potentially have to avoid.

confession #11

i can’t cook.

just kidding.

that’s not my confession.

i’d say it’s pretty common knowledge that when left to my own devices i am more than happy to live on a steady diet of ramen, pb & j, and lots and lots of assorted cereal.

recently, however, thanks to a conversation started by my dad and ended by random people i have been asking, i have been thinking about learning how to cook, and about how it is something i might like to do.

{that’s the confession part of this, fyi.}

so i was talking to my mom, and she mentioned that she wouldn’t mind if i made dinner for the family once a week. and i figured since i’m living here rent free and all, and since she will be paying for the groceries i buy, it’s the least i can do.

i started last night.

i planned to make mexican lasagna and fried empanadas.

what i actually made was mexican lasagna and queso dip.

the empanadas were an epic fail.

{i guess that’s another part of the confession.}

i’m very new to this cooking thing, so there’s a lot i didn’t know. for example, who would have thought that scallions and green onions are the same thing! go figure.

i started dinner at 4.

i had my little brother take a picture of me at 4:15.


the red onion thing was not a surprise to me, because i experience it every time i make guacamole {all 5 times i ever have…} but it was still ridiculous. i cooked the rest of the meal with the biggest raccoon eyes of my life, because my hands were covered with onions and pepper juice and i was afraid to get them near my eyeballs.

i told you, i’m new at this.

dinner was ready by 5:35, improvised queso dip and all.

and it was pretty good.

and i think i kind of like cooking.

{that’s the biggest confession of all. please don’t tell anyone.}

An Excerpt From My Friday Night

me: Well...I'm wearing an apron. Let the ridiculousness begin.

him: Why are you wearing an apron?

me: I'm cooking dinner.

him: Should I call the Fire Department?

me: Please do. Tell the hot single firemen that I'm single and I can cook. Thanks.

him: In an apron?...

Little Letters {Part III}

Dear RR,
It's about time you hire some new employees. And I'm not saying that because I am getting sick of the people I work with. {Although that is true.} I'm saying that so I can stop working 5 shifts a week. I have not worked this much since we opened last summer, and I would like to keep it that way.

Dear Dickens,
It's not that I'm not enjoying Great Expectations. Really! I am. It's just too long, and I'm afraid I won't have time to finish it before my midterm next week. So... think you could help me out here?

Dear foodnetwork.com,
Did we just become best friends? Yes? That's what I thought.

Dear Professor,
I think you might be the most arrogant teacher I have ever had in my life. Also, the word is pronounced uh-pos-truh-fee, not app-o-stroph. Duh.

Dear Mailbox,
I love that you brought me mail this week! It was absolutely lovely and certainly brightened my day.

Dear Choir Boy,
A clarification. Just because I let you dance near me at that party last week does not mean we are friends. So you can stop turning around in institute and making eyes at me. It just heightens your creeper vibe.

Dear Bishop/Dad,
I think I do a pretty good job in participating in my fair share of church activities. But if you think there is any way on earth I would be caught dead at the Date Auction at the end of this month, I'll just let you know right now: There isn't.

Dear Sister-In-Law,
I need a haircut like you wouldn't believe. It's such a good thing I actually love the way you do my hair and I don't have to pretend in order to spare my brother's feelings.

Dear Everyone Who Might Someday Have a Child,
Baby modeling contests are ridiculous. Cute babies or not. They are not okay.

Dear 66 Degrees and Sunny,
I'll miss you when I'm in Michigan.

Dear Ann Arbor, Michigan,
Twice as many Durkins = Twice as much fun. Get ready.

The Songs I'll Listen To Because of a Boy, Pt. 1

you think a girl would learn.

This One is About My Future

I have been thinking a lot about the future.

In other words, I have been thinking too much about the future.

I met with my counselor on Friday and he let me know that I am not completely on track, credit wise. I will either have to take 3 English classes during the next 2 summers, or I will have to delay graduation by one semester, graduating in December 2012 instead of May.

My first thought was: this sucks. Either way my scholarship is going to run out, and I’ll be funding these last 9 credits on my own.

My second thought was: summer school. Obviously. I need to get out of here as quickly as possible. All of my friends are graduating in May. I am not going to be one of those students who can’t graduate in 4 years. How pathetic!

My third thought was: wait a second. Why do I need to get out of here as soon as possible? Do I really want to be teaching high school in 2 years? 2 years goes by fast. I am not ready to be a real adult and enter the real world. Not even close. Plus, I don't want to burn myself out with school all year long. That's a recipe for disaster.

My fourth thought was: delay graduation a semester. Definitely.

My fifth thought was: but what if something happens in the next 2 years that makes me want to finish school as quickly as possible? What if I am {gasp!} married?

Which brings me to my sixth thought: But what if I’m not. I probably won’t be. I’ll probably want to stay in school as long as possible, just like Sandy told me. I don’t want to be a real person yet.

As you can tell, I have a lot of thoughts.

And they just keep coming.

And the one thought that keeps reappearing: It would just be so much simpler if I could see the path in front of me.

But alas, I can’t. I’m going to have to make this decision without all of the information.

And I’m leaning towards delayed graduation.

For now, at least.