There Is No Such Thing as Standing Still

“To be misunderstood can be the writer's punishment for having disturbed the reader's peace. The greater the disturbance, the greater the possibility of misunderstanding.” – Anatole Broyard

My week has been colored by misunderstandings. This just comes with the territory, I suppose. Part of me is angry any of this happened in the first place, but a much smaller part of me realizes those feelings are not justified. I still get sad when I stop to think about it, but it is mostly out of my hands at this point. Things will work themselves out eventually. They always do. Always.

When I made the decision a few months ago to stay here for school this is not at all what I thought I was getting myself into. I had a clear idea in my mind of what my life at ASU would be like. Eventually it became obvious that the life I envisioned for myself would not, could not, exist. After much initial resistance on my part, I slowly began to form a new mental picture of this semester. This new image was certainly different, but not bad. In fact, there were several exciting and comforting things about it. And yet once again, my expectations were still rather far off the mark. I decided to stay home, to ground myself at least for awhile once again in Gilbert, Arizona. I decided to keep my job out here in the east valley. I made decisions which would make it more difficult for me to be with my friends, but in that I decided to once again rely on old friends. They have been remarkably patient with me.

I don’t know what I would do without them.

I hope I don’t ever have to find out.