So many things have changed in the past year. I am an ASU student. I am living at home rather than just moving out. I am not crying every time I think about school. William is home from his mission. He is engaged to be married. So is Sandy. And I am not celebrating August 22 with a French toast breakfast, and Italian dinner, and the entire season of Arrested Development on dvd.
So many things have changed since one year ago.
And so many things have stayed exactly the same. I am apprehensive about school. I am nervous about making friends. I don’t love myself as much as I should. And I would love nothing more than to celebrate August 22 with a certain boy in the form of presents and kisses and balloons and affection.
I have been trying remarkably hard over the past month. I have attempted to distract myself to no end. Maybe tonight I’ll give in and allow myself to drift to sleep with thoughts of being in his arms again, my own little acknowledgment of the day. It’s not the best I can do, but it is the best I will allow.
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