This is my "to-do wall". It encompasses approximately the next 9 days, not including work. It also does not account for the time I will be spending in class. Just looking at it makes me want to throw up. I do feel marginally better now that everything is written down though. I feel like I have accomplished something, plus everything seems more manageable this way; less scary. I am worried, however, that I have forgotten something. If it's not on this wall, chances of it getting done are very slim. Chances of me getting everything done that is on the wall are very slim. And as much as I am dreading writing the four {yes, FOUR} papers I have to write in the next week, there is something much scarier on one of those post-its.
Something not homework related.
Something church related.
Here's what happened.
1) Today in church we watch Holland's talk from conference. {Watch here and here} It was our last meeting of the day, and it left me feeling super excited about church and about sharing my testimony. {Just like last time.} I felt inspired. And then I went to tithing settlement.
2) While talking with the bishop, he asked how I was liking the ward. I told him that it was okay, but I sit by myself every week. {That was a big mistake. Now I am going to be fellow-shipped.} He responded by nicely asking me if I would attend the proselytizing activity on Saturday morning.
3) What I said was "I would be too nervous!" What I am wishing I said was "No, thanks." He told me that he was nervous when they went last month too, and that we would just be knocking on doors, inviting people to temple lights, and giving them a survey. Temple lights are harmless enough {my words}, and he assured me that no one was mean last time, so inexplicably, I said yes. Yes, I will go knocking on doors in an attempt to make contacts for the missionaries. Yes, this Saturday morning will find me sharing my testimony with complete strangers. Yes, I will {hopefully} find some way to get past this mind numbing fear. Yes, this will be a good experience... question mark?
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
I know I have shared this scripture before, but humor me. It's a favorite. I also know the Book of Mormon has done nothing but bring peace of mind and safety for my soul, so why should I feel so incredibly nervous about potentially sharing that knowledge with others?
Answer: I shouldn't. And even if I do, I won't let that get into the way.
1 comment:
yikes! i both am and am not envious of you. maybe you will turn out to be a great missionary! or maybe it might be really scary. good luck.
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