Advice From Adele and Irving

Yesterday I spent a hot languid afternoon with Adele and Duffy.

It was charming.

Then David and I cooked ourselves some dinner (he did the fajitas and I made the guacamole) and watched So You Think You Can Dance (mostly for me) and Star Wars(mostly for him).

While Adele was Chasing Pavements I thought about my dreams and my future and whether the two have anything in common. The other day I was asked why I want to be a teacher. And it was not the incredulous I-can’t-believe-you-want-to-do-that type of question (I don’t think). It was more of a mild curiosity (I think). I did not immediately have an answer, which did not worry me in the slightest (I swear). I genuinely feel I have chosen the right major for me.

I love school. As much as I complain about it and dream about graduation day there is no escaping the fact that school has always been my thing. Always. And more than that, I adore reading, am enamored with writing, and would love to do the two for the rest of my life. Hence, high school English. It’s not exactly rocket science. I hope to be able to help a bunch of bratty teenagers who could not care less find the magic in a piece of literature. Or at the very least, be able to write about literature intelligibly. I remember the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird and The Catcher in the Rye and Life of Pi and The Kite Runner and Pride and Prejudice and Invisible Man. They all broke my heart, they brought tears to my eyes, and they made me question my world. And they continue to do it over and over again, whether I am reading or not. Someday there is going to be a student out there who will find the beauty in the written word just like I did. And I will be there to watch. And I understand that this is all very idealistic of me. I walk what is (for me) the very thin line between idealism and cynicism. Today I choose to lean to the side of hope.

So there is my future. Hopefully. Now what about the other half?

I am a writer. It might not always translate to paper, but I have a writer’s soul.

“The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn’t behave that way you would never do anything.” -John Irving

I am still working on it, but I am slowly getting there.

And if I am going to go Chasing Pavements maybe something will come out of it someday. I don’t think it is that absurd of an idea.

Pretending

“Somehow, it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their three-o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum.”

I cannot fight the elements anymore. It is time to revel in the Harper Lee-esque atmosphere created by the summer heat and think of myself as glowing rather than sweaty.

All that’s need for a glamorous life is a vivid imagination.

If June Cleaver Had A Blog

Today is errand and chore day which also means it is blog day! I am sorry to report that I work almost 10 hours less this week than I did last week, but I will have to bravely solider on. So, for my day off I wanted to get a jump on things so I started my chores relatively early. I began with laundry because I like doing laundry. I really like doing laundry, if you want to know the truth. I doubt I would feel the same if I had to wash clothes that did not belong to me but I very much enjoy washing my own clothes, restocking my own closet, and getting to choose what I want to wear from my entire wardrobe (not whatever happens to be clean, like I have to do most of the time). I also started my 2009-2010 FAFSA. (I know, I know, I am a little more than very late. But still months and months earlier than last year.) I have done as much as I can do without parental help so I had to push that chore to the side for the time being. I am also currently waiting on a car so I can drive to the bank to make a deposit! I love making deposits. I even love the word deposit these days. I cannot wait to finish these 3 tasks because when I do I get to cross them off my To-Do list, and I love crossing things off To-Do lists almost as much as I love doing laundry. Once I am done with all of this, I will (probably) start cleaning my room.

I know.

I am being so productive today. The only, should we say, off-putting thing about this moment is the fact that right now I feel like one of those homemakers who spend her whole blog talking about laundry and to-do lists. Now, of course I would never go so far as to say there is anything wrong with that; it is just so not me. I feel like any second now I am going to start waxing poetic about the deliciously sinful chocolate cake I made Friday night. I might even post a picture of it.



I know.

Who am I?



Almost.

As of Late

Here’s what I am thinking about lately:
How much money does it take to buy a reliable used car (when your dad is good friends with the seller)?
How much money can I possibly save before school starts?
Is there any possibility of the answers to questions 1 & 2 equaling each other?
What color should I paint my room (provided I do not move out in August)?
Will I colossally regret not moving out in August?
Where is all of my rain?
Why is summer flying by so quickly?
Why can’t I make decisions?
And
I cannot wait for July 15th!
If you have any answers to my above questions I would love your input.
Oh, and a short P.S. My Fourth of July was not a total bust. It was kind of lovely. (Here is where I would insert a picture if my camera was other than lost.)

Warning: Watch for Self-Righteous Ranting

I am researching used cars online, becoming depressed, and wondering if the two aren’t related. *sigh* I know most of my friends and Gilbert, Arizona acquaintances will take issue with this statement, but I have to say it. No, I want to say it. If your parents ever bought or have given you a car, you most likely have no idea how *lucky* you are. And yes, I am using “lucky” in lieu of another, more colorful, word. (i.e. spoiled). And before everyone gets all up in arms, I am not talking about letting you drive the family car. I drove a family car all through high school. (I know a lot of people would consider that “lucky” as well.) I am talking about purchasing a car specifically for you, or giving you a car to take with you when you move out. That is what I take issue with. And by “take issue with” I of course mean “am jealous of.” And this entire rant stems from my lack-of-car-to-drive-me-to-school frustration. So try not to take too much offense, please. I am tired, cranky, and indignant.

Silver Lining

I am still awake, although I sincerely wish I were not. Tonight was another amazing night of work. I swear this job keeps getting better and better. I am actually severely bummed that I have the day off tomorrow. And now you all think I am crazy. I don’t blame you, I know people are not supposed the love their jobs. Especially lowly food service industry jobs. But I cannot help myself :)

I must either be completely out of writing mode or living a very uninteresting life lately. I cannot thing of a single thing I would consider “blog worthy.” Hmmm… Perhaps if I lower my “blog worthy” standards I will be in better shape, although if I am being completely honest with myself I know those standards are already pretty low.

Every day I find myself marveling at how quickly summer is passing by; we’re almost half way done. (Over half way done for my little bros. Poor guys.) Sometimes I start to stress out when I think about how I will be completely starting over at ASU this year. I will have to reorient myself to the campus and to the ASU grade system and website. I will have to make new friends and get used to cheering for the Sun Devils instead of rooting against them. I will have to adjust to life without late night Regan talks (I am already having to deal with this and hating it). I will have to find the good places to study and the fastest routes and the best/cheapest food on campus. I will have to move into a new ward and visit teach new girls and meet new institute teachers. And I will have to do this all while stressing about money for rent (possibly) and food (possibly) and tuition surpluses (definitely) and a car/gasoline (probably.) I would be lying if I said I was not scared, and I would be lying if I said I was not excited. But I am definitely looking forward to the rest of summer lasting as long as possible.

Summer has been nice so far. I love summer, but my favorite part has yet to show up. Not a single monsoon, not a single drop of rain in weeks and weeks. I am starting to get antsy. Monsoons make the Arizona summers bearable, and even enjoyable, for me. Without them it is just hot and more hot. But at least for now it is lazy-summer-day-hot, and not rushing-late-to-class-hot. There is a silver lining on these thin non-rain clouds. If only Krystal were here she could tell me what kind of clouds I am talking about. Too bad it is 2:30 in the morning and even Facebook is letting me know that no one else is awake. Here is hoping that sleep comes soon; and if not, here’s hoping I will have enough Arrested Development discs to last me until morning. Silver lining. I did it again. Not bad for this time of night.

Work & Independence

I feel like I spend most of my time either working or waiting to go to work these days. I would be lying if I said I didn’t love it however, for 3 reasons. 1) My job is awfully fun. 2) The money is exceptionally good and 3) I need to save as much as possible if I am ever going to buy a car or be able to move out. It will certainly take awhile to get there but I am hoping beyond hope that I can get there eventually. Last night I spent some much needed time with Natalie and Krystal and we spent about 40% of the time talking about our jobs which made us all feel ridiculously old. We made up for it by spending approximately the other 60% gossiping. It all evened out in the end.

After Saturday David and I will be 0 for 2 when it comes to spending the Fourth of July together. I am especially bummed because he will be gone and once I get off of work it will most likely be too late to drive out to Phoenix to join my family at my Grandma’s house for fireworks and fun. So it looks like I might be spending the fourth by myself on my parents couch. Happy Independence Day, right?